Surrender to the Flow: My Journey, Lessons, and Transformations

I think I’ve always been on a path of searching.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been driven by my curiosity. Always looking for meaning, for connection, for an answer, and for “what’s next?”

When people ask me why I started ALTAR, I often tell them, “I built the community I was craving.” But like most meaningful things in life, it wasn’t a straight line or upward trajectory. It was a journey of learning how to surrender to the flow of life, change, and my own becoming.

The wake-up call came in the form of breast cancer at 38. I was working in corporate leadership, raising two young kids, and running on autopilot. My diagnosis was a catalyst. It was the permission slip I needed to own up and ask myself:

What do I want?

What truly lights me up?

Following the Flow to Create Connection

In that season of healing and reckoning, I stumbled into a deeper spiritual and psychological journey. I didn’t set out to build ALTAR. I just knew I craved authentic connection. I wanted to hold space where women could shed their masks and be real with one another.

One of the first iterations of what would become ALTAR was a circle I co-founded in 2012 with my dear friend, Susan Hyman. We called it LiFT—Living in Flow Together. My living room became a sanctuary where women gathered to express authentic connection. In many ways, it was my first conscious act of surrender to the flow: trusting that something meaningful would emerge when women came together with intention.

Years later, in January 2020, I signed a lease on a 4,000-square-foot space in Chicago. This was the sacred clubhouse I’d dreamed of: a third space where women could gather, grow, and experience soulful nourishment. We planned our grand opening for the Spring Equinox, a symbolically powerful time for new beginnings. But, as we know, the world had other plans. Two weeks before ALTAR’s opening, the pandemic shut everything down.

At that moment, I saw that I had a choice. I could give up this dream, or I could surrender to the flow once again. Honestly, if the space hadn’t already been fully built, I probably would have walked away. But because it was ready, I chose to stay open (figuratively, at first).

Together with a circle of incredibly gifted practitioners, we pivoted online and began offering virtual self-care and self-development programs. Somehow, amidst all the chaos, our community deepened.

Now, in 2025, ALTAR is thriving as a one-of-a-kind third space for women in Chicago. We’ve hosted powerful voices like affirmation artist Toni Jones, executive coach Jody Michael, and behavioral psychologist Alison Fragale. 

But beyond the big names, it’s the everyday moments of sistering, storytelling, and shared wisdom that define this co-creative community. I’ve learned that when I—when we—surrender to the flow, we make room for unexpected joys and opportunities.

What it Means to Surrender to the Flow

Surrendering doesn’t mean giving up. It means releasing the illusion of control and trusting that something, in our internal wisdom or far beyond us, is guiding our steps. This lesson shows up time and time again in my personal and professional life.

Whether I’m navigating the leadership of ALTAR or working through a personal challenge, I come back to this question: Can I surrender to the flow instead of forcing an outcome?

ALTAR has always been bigger than me. It’s a collaborative space where healing and empowerment live side by side. A space where belonging is a birthright, not a reward for fitting in. And every woman who walks through our doors reminds me of the power of community when we dare to be seen.

If you’re reading this and feeling the tug of your own transformation, I invite you to pause and take a deep breath. Notice where you might be clinging to a specific outcome, certainty, or perfection. Then ask yourself: What would it look like to surrender to the flow in this season of my life?

My journey is ongoing, and I certainly don’t have it all figured out. But what I know to be true is this: when we release the need for total control, life has a way of surprising us with beauty, connection, and meaning we never could have orchestrated on our own.

Here’s to the next chapter of surrendering to the flow—together.

You can read more about ALTAR and Founder, Kathy Bresler, here.

Kathy & her daughter during ALTAR's first year.